The Fear Factor

06/04/20 08:24:am

The fear factor

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Recently I did a driving assessment for a job working at Tesco, I didn’t put the interview on to facebook or tell friends for fear that if I failed people would judge me because I am a driving instructor this is what I do for a living. We all live in fear of being judged. Some examples are as follows:

When we go for an interview for our dream job we study all the material given to us but when we get there we over think about what we want to say, what we look like and if they will judge us on appearance, if we are right for the job  or if we are clever enough. We stumble, forget things, thing we know, we second guess ourselves and we don’t get the job

We go out on a date and meet someone we think is amazing, someone we respect and think would be incredible to get to know but we clam up overthink the situation and fear they will judge us on our appearance, that we will come across as needy or that we aren’t good enough for them so we try too hard to impress and lose them anyway.

We are asked to do a speech at a wedding which is a massive honour we spend hours making sure we know the happy couple doing enough research preparing notes and then when we stand up, we forget everything because we fear being judged. Can everyone hear me, am I dressed appropriately, are they judging what I am saying, we stutter, we clam up, its a disaster.

The driving test is no different we work hard with our instructors we learn what the car will and won’t do. When it comes to the test we over think we worry we will miss something, something important. We over check our mirrors and miss something in front of us or don’t check them enough and miss something behind us. We drive on a 60mph road, either too slowly or try to do the speed limit when it is not safe enough to do so. We change lanes and don’t look properly or panic on a roundabout and either go to early or wait for every car to go before us,  we go we try to impress the examiner and fail.

When we fail our test, we beat ourselves up we know we could have passed, we should have passed we question ourselves and don’t believe in our own ability. Quite often we worry that if we speak to the examiner during the test or ask questions they will judge us and either think we are crazy or that we aren’t ready to pass so we clam up.

When I look back to my recent assessment I approached it without fear, I told the assessor why I waited at a junction a little longer than I would normally, I explained why I slowed down to see what people were doing. I explained my decisions and passed the test not because I am a driving instructor but because I believed in my own ability and knew I was good enough.

My advice is never to approach a situation and worry about being judged always believe in yourself and believe in you have the ability to achieve anything. We are our worst critique, we judge ourselves, keep believing visualise what you want and trust yourself it will happen.

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